Yep, I am still alive...

Can I just say that the past few weeks have been murderous??

My Papa Bear passed away and I couldn't get to his funeral or service because there wasn't enough time. So, now both him and my Grandma are gone...an entire portion of my childhood - gone! It has been so sad for me to know that I will never see the inside of their house again. And I won't ever hear him call me Christie Jean Jelly Bean Anna Poo Poo. Sounds ludicrous, I know...but it is a part of who I am. It has taken me a while to get out of the funk. I know that he is so much better off...he was so sick. And he is finally reunited with my Grandma. So, I know it's all smiles for him. :) :) Just hard for the ones left behind.

I went back to work. I started classes. And I finished my externship up. Now, you can see why these past few weeks have been so hard.

I will have to get caught back up here in the next few days! I am still alive and kicking....just trying to doggie paddle to keep my head above water!

Ahhh, it's been awhile....

Things have been so hectic around here. Between going into the nursing home, getting Bayleigh here and there, and getting ready to go back to work next week. And of course, the residual exhaustion! I am so ready to take a nap one day soon....maybe Saturday.

I have been able to talk to Andy at night. We meet on yahoo at midnight our time. It is nice to be able to talk with him every night. We get to talk about things that we wouldn't normally talk about while he was home. It is healthy...it is helping us grow and be a better couple.

I finished a scrapbook page today! I hope to do one more tomorrow too. I have to get cracking, I have been slacking so bad. I don't feel the pressure to scrap pictures and get them done. I just *need* to create in order to have balance in my life. I have to release the creativity, so I feel stable and sane.

Hopefully, you are all doing well. Staying busy and healthy!

Checking in...

Our trip to Sea World went off without a hitch. We got off at just the right time and made it there in good time. However, within 15 minutes of arriving at the park, we were already drenched with sweat. Ick...it was hotter than hell out there. We got to see a lot of the main things. We didn't get to pet or feed the dolphins because people were camped out up front and wouldn't give anyone a chance to have a turn. Ugh!! We had a great time...just Bayleigh and me. Bayleigh even surprised me and wanted to sit in the splash sections at all the shows - too bad we didn't get any splashes! One of Bayleigh's favorite places is the "flat fish" tank..AKA stingrays. She climbed right up and started reaching in...and she did it!!! She actually touched one and then asked for more. :)

Today was just a day to relax and recover. I spent most of the morning on the couch. Bayleigh was so good and just let me rest and would come and ask me things if she needed to. I was glad to get the rest. I sure needed it...I think that is what is causing my stuffy nose and icky cold - lack of sleep. Maybe I can have another day like that and kick this thing in the butt.

Off to chat with dh for a minute before turning in for the night....

Holy Novacaine!!!

I went to the dentist today to get my routine cleaning and one of my cavities filled. It took 6 shots of Novacaine to get it numb enough to do the work. *thud*

Needless to say my mouth and jaw are really sore tonight. I am looking forward to having no pain tomorrow!!

We are heading down to Sea World for the day tomorrow. Military members and their dependents get in for free and they are having a special dinner for the Florida Guard families. It should be a nice day! And Bayleigh is super excited, she could hardly go to sleep tonight.

Hope you all have a Happy Friday. :)

Tuesday ho hum...

Busy day today. I feel like I have been going non-stop. I hate days like that...because then you realize that you haven't done the important things at the end of the day. I have to make sure to do them tomorrow. Read Bayleigh a book, play dolls with Bayleigh, sit and relax on the couch after she goes to bed....

I am off to the dentist tomorrow to start working on getting my teeth back to normal. I am getting them cleaned and one cavity filled. It doesn't matter how much I brush and floss, I always manage to have cavities. It's all that apple juice in a baby bottle my mom gave me when I was little. LOL

I hope to finally finish a scrapbook page tomorrow. I have everything except the journaling done. Just have to find the time to sit down and do it. Tomorrow is the day!!!

Hope everyone sleeps well....until tomorrow.... XOXO

Home sweet home...

It is always so nice to come home after being away for a few days! And this trip was no exception. :) I know that Bayleigh was happy to get home and be able to sleep in her big girl bed again. She is as snug as a bug in a rug and I don't think she has moved an inch since she fell asleep.

Andy admitted that he was disappointed with the pregnancy test results. And we have decided that I won't be going back on the pill. We are ready!! And this experience has only made us realize that. I am excited to start on this next phase in our lives. I know that Bayleigh will be excited too. She has been asking for a baby brother or sister for almost a year now. We will see how she handles it when her wish comes to fruition. LOL

I am off to bed. I will be sure to update tomorrow. I am just whipped and can't wait to lay my head on my soft little pillow.

Goodnight all!

*sigh*

The results are in. Not pregnant. I am relieved because I want Andy to be here when we hit that moment in our lives...I want to be together, since we weren't able to enjoy and savor those first few months together with Bayleigh. But, there is a part of me that is a little bit sad. I guess it is only natural to feel a little let down with something so big.

I emailed Andy. I think he was getting really excited about it. He is itching to have more babies. At least now, we can get more "practice" in before the real thing. LOL

I am off to pack for the beach and start my drive. I will check back in tomorrow evening. Thanks girls for all of your support. XOXOXO

Is someone trying to kill me???

So, I go into the nursing home at 9 am thinking I would go in early and be done by noon. Guess again. I didn't get done until 3 pm. My supervisor was in a meeting, so he had me see most of the patients by myself. And he caught up with me and saw the last 2. Needless to say, when I got home I was knocked out cold.

I got up and got ready for my crop. I went to Target for my prescription and then headed over to the scrapbook store. I got most of one page done and stared at another page for quite some time. Maybe I can finish it up on Sunday when get back from the beach.

I am still feeling tired. I guess I will take a pregnancy test tomorrow to rule it out. I will let you know what I find out tomorrow.

I am going to head out to the beach tomorrow. Meet up with Jennifer and Lamar at the condo and see little Bayleigh. I will head back for home on Sunday. Hopefully the weather won't be too hot and we can enjoy ourselves. It has been excruciating this year!! It was over 100 today! Yikes.

Until the pregnancy test results....

Another day...

Yep, another day of being completely exhausted!! What the heck is going on with me?? I so ready for this to be over. If I could just get my butt in bed before midnight that would be a miracle and would probably help me immensely. I don't know why I feel the need to stay up so late. *shrugs*

I worked for 4.5 hours at the clinic today. And I go in again in the morning for some more hours. *sigh* I wish I could call in tomorrow, but I need to get as many hours as I can. And considering the director from my college will be there next week, I better make sure I end the week on a good note. At least I will be done and can come home and take a nap in the midafternoon.

I am going to a crop tomorrow. :) I haven't been in so long, so it should be a nice time. I just hope this tiredness wears off and I can get some good creative juices flowing. I will get to see the lss owner and find out what she ordered from CHA. Woo hooo....I am sure lots of goodies.

Happy Friday everyone!!

Things that make you go hmmm....

I am beginning to wonder if I am pregnant!!!! I have been so extremely tired these past few days and I don't remember feeling this way except for once before. And 9 months later I had Bayleigh. I dunno. I guess I will keep you posted!!

I have got to get to bed. I am soo tired an I have to get up and go to the clinic in the morning. I have been working my tail off there. I hope that my supervisor gives me a good midterm report. We shall see.

I hope to get some scrapping done tomorrow. Tonight I went to my friends place. She is in some serious distress right now, so it was good for me to hang out with her. We were supposed to watch a movie with my other friend (she has to write a report on it), but we all ended up talking for hours. Must be a girl thing. LOL

Welp, I better turn in before my head hits the keyboard.

Tired...

I am tired tonight. I am headed to bed here in a few. I have another design team page to finish, but I am about 3/4 of the way done. I think I will finish it tomorrow and post it then. I am too tired to even think straight!

I finally got my scrap space done and can't wait until my Stampin' Up order arrives tomorrow!! WOO HOOOO!!! More scrap goodies. And I placed an order at SWS and at Paper Addict. I think my craving has been somewhat satisfied. I want to save most of my money for the new CHA releases though. So, I was thrifty.

I am off to catch some zzz's.

Thoughts...

I went into the nursing home today and we have 2 new clients to check out. One of which is a 33 year old, who is a quadraplegic. She has been trached and has a broken neck. It was so incredibly sad to watch her lying lifeless due to her condition. When we were asking her some questions and talking with her, she is very coherent and extremely bright. It is so awakening to see someone so full of life, lying there miserable because of a crappy card that they were dealt in life. The doctors believe that the quadriplegia is temporary.

Our other client is a 42 year old woman with MS. Also bed ridden. Her son was there and he was no more than 20.

I absolutely love working at the nursing home. But, sometimes the patients are just so heartwrenching.

One of my regulars was not herself during therapy and she was getting upset with herself - hitting herself in the head, being really quiet, and just not doing as well as usual. After the session, I was talking to my supervisor when she walked up to me. She had tears in her eyes and was telling me about how her daughter hadn't come to see her lately and she didn't know why. She said, "I didn't make her mad." She has incredible language deficits, but that was as clear as day.

Can you imagine your loved ones not coming to see you or call to let you know when you could expect them?? She is alone in her room without a roommate, so I know she gets lonely. I wish I could adopt her as my grandma, since mine is gone.

*sigh*

I need some retail therapy. I think I will go check out SWS - http://www.qbaroo.com/scrappingwithstyle/ and get some new supplies. Oh and sleep would be good too.

Birthday party fun!

So, I took Bayleigh to a birthday party today. My friend's youngest son turned 2. It is always interesting to see how Bayleigh interacts with other children while I am there. Without fail, she gets clingy and doesn't want to do anything on her own. But, I know that she doesn't do that at school. Maybe she just gets overwhelmed with all the people. However, we have been around these people for years - we go to birthdays there twice a year (her oldest son is Bay's age). Ack, who knows. I just hope she doesn't keep this up once she gets older. From experience, I know that you miss out on a lot just watching from the sidelines and I don't want that for her.

Andy got to his base just fine and is ready to get some rest and get back on that schedule. He said it is still excruciatingly hot. Bleck!

I have been working on this one scrapbook layout for weeks now. UGH!!! I just want to get it done. I am almost done with it, but man has it been a huge effort. I will be very relieved when it is done and I can move on to another page. I need to get my creativity back flowing again. I think a fun page for my random advice book might be just what the doctor ordered.

Off to pack Bay's lunch and get her stuff ready for dance camp.

Pure exhaustion

We got home at about 11 pm from a day of driving and sad goodbyes. I don't have the energy or cognitive functioning to even write much. I just wanted to get some of this out into my journal.

My friend asked Bayleigh today what part of her Daddy being home was her favorite. You know what that little girl said??? Not eating candy or playing ball....but snuggling. Isn't that just the sweetest thing you have heard?

I think the worst part of today was watching Bayleigh's little heart breaking as she watched her Daddy walk towards the terminal in the airport. It made my tears come even faster. I wish that there was something I could do to ease the pain or help her feel better, but there isn't. I know that it tore Andy apart to watch her get so emotional. I can't imagine how hard it was for him to walk away....50 times harder than it was for us, I am sure.

Coming home was very eerie. I burst into tears as soon as I walked in...knowing that the last time we were home, we were all together. His clothes are still in the hamper and it will be hard to wash them. Even harder will be lying in the bed without him...smelling his presence on the pillow and sheets and reaching for empty space in the middle of the night.

I thought this goodbye would be easier since we are on the down side of the deployment. But, it wasn't. The pain was still real and the emotions still raw.

Off I go to take a bubble bath and snuggle my dumplin.

Relax day...

All I did today was toodle around the house. It was so nice to not have to worry about going anywhere or doing anything.

I did more on my re-organization process in my scrapbooking area. I am making some good progress. I have one huge bag to toss and a huge box that will go to the lss for their garage sale. I sold $135 at the last one, so I am hoping to get some of this stuff off my hands again.

Andy played in a softball game tonight. It is always good to let the male stroke his ego - it keeps him off your back for awhile. LOL He had a good time. Too bad it was about 98 degrees out there and we were all sweating our butt's off.

My stomach has been churning all night and I know that it won't be any better tomorrow. Ugh, I hate how my stomach always gets upset when I am anxious.

We are expected to leave at about 7 am for Atlanta. We will take him to the airport and then Bayleigh and I will head back home. I don't want to visit family or anything. I get sick of answering people when they ask how I am. Most of them don't really care and they certainly don't want to know how I *really* am. I mean, if they trully wanted to know, I would have heard from them during this whole deployment - know what I mean?

Anywho, it is off to help Andy get his ruck sack packed up. Say a little prayer for our family as we travel and say goodbye to each other once again.

What a day!!

So, my morning started with me slipping in the shower and hitting my face on the back of the toilet. And if that wasn't enough, my dentist informed me that I need to have a root canal done. To top it all off, our second car wouldn't start.

As you can see, I am *very* glad that today is over!

Why do bad things seem to come in clusters? It can never be just one piece of bad news...there has to be at least two, but usually three or four in our household. For once, I would like to just have a normal day.

I have been sitting here flipping through my new CTMH catalog and I am loving their Acrylix stuff. Pretty rockin'! However, the longer I sit, the more battered and bruised I feel from this mornings accident. I hope I can actually get some sleep and don't fall into some comatose state. *rolls eyes*

I am off to try to help Andy clean the dishes from dinner and get ready for bed. Night night!

Home, at last...

Being the boneheads that we are, we went down to my parents place on the west coast for the weekend. It was all fine and dandy until Hurricane Dennis decided to rear its ugly head. So, our "beach" vacation was filled with rain and gail force winds. Sound fun? Not hardly...

Thankfully, the weather cleared. Andy was able to go out with my dad and brother fishing. He caught a fish, so all is well with the world.

We had a really nice time with my parents. But, it is always nice to get back home and resume life as normal. Well, as close to normal as it can be with Andy's impending departure looming over us.

We all head up to Atlanta on Friday and say our goodbyes once again. *sigh* At least this will be the last time we have to put ourselves through this torture. I don't wish this on anyone. It is so incredible trying and hard that words can't be put on the emotions.

Hope to be back tomorrow to post again. You can see that I lasted one whole day before I fell off the wagon. Oh well....I know I will do better. And for once, I am not beating myself up over missing a day or two.

Head first...

Ok, so I am jumping into this whole blogging thing head first. Maybe I can keep up with it and actually keep some sort of consistant diary! Lord knows that that I haven't been successful in the past. So, we shall see.

It was a busy day today for me. The nursing home had an influx of patients and I got my first experience with a "suited up" client. I had to put the whole shebang on....gown, goggles, mask, and gloves - and that was just to walk into the room. It was pretty sad. The man is only 45 years old and has suffered 2 strokes and is basically dependent on everyone to sustain him. My first eye opening experience and it has left me both sad and disappointed.

*sigh*

Bayleigh is screaming from the bathtub. Does the madness ever end?

Well, I am off to care for my two children. *wink* Doesn't your dh fall into that category sometimes too? LOL