Thursday, February 11, 2010

hanging on....

It's been a wild, wild past month and a half or so. W. I. L. D.

My life was in shambles just a short month ago. I mean I felt like I had lost myself, my faith, my body, my being, my marriage....basically everything. All I knew was that I needed to keep praying to the Lord, even though, with all my being I didn't want to. Hey, I am just being honest. Sometimes it's hard to pray when you feel so lost and alone. Or it is hard to pray a prayer that you have prayed for nearly a decade only to feel as though God has left the premises. hehe Maybe I have a small faith, I dunno. But, that is just me. I just kept reminding myself that God spoke through Esther, yet His name is never found in the book. His divine providence was on her life without the mention of His name. That is some awesome stuff!

So, I kept praying. And guess what?? God delivered. He has delivered me from my sadness and lack of identity. I am His. That is all the identity that I need right now. I am going regularly to MOPS and making friends. I am going to a weekly Beth Moore bible study. I am scrapbooking again. I am reading books. I am going to the gym. I am going to counseling. There are other pieces of my life that are still not "healthy." Yet, those things are not things that *I* alone can change. So, I just keep praying for those things and count on Him to deliver. Even in the midnight hour. And I know He will. He never forsakes His own and He won't do it to me either.

*sigh* Now that I got that off my chest, onto to other things going on in the Wildes household.

This little man is about to turn 2..and he is just one big ball of energy. Wow...he really keeps me on my toes. He loves to throw. Anything....balls, yes. Toys, yes. Remote controls, yes. You name it, he will attempt a wide out screen pass. HA! His vocabulary has just blossomed so much in the past month - and he tries to repeat everything we say. (reminder to self: watch car language). heehee He just loves his family and has started to ask for snuggles at night. :) Sooo adorable!

This pretty little girl is about to turn 9 in a few weeks. She is giving me a run for my money. She loves lip gloss and hair styles...although she rarely styles her own. haha She dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood for their schools literacy parade. She is getting ready to attend her first dance tomorrow night. Her school is sponsoring a Valentine's Dance with pizza, popcorn, and she is meeting a few of her friends there. Too cute...and I will be sure to get pictures as I have no doubt her fashionista self will be dressed to the nines. :)
I submitted some work for publication and I am going to keep plugging along at that piece of the scrapbooking industry. :) It's fun!!!

I will be back to share some Little Red Scrapbook news and pages tomorrow.

Have a terrific Thursday everyone!



naomi_m said...

I'm so glad that things have started to go a bit better for you. I have never thought about Esther in that way.

Angela W said...

I hope things keep getting better for you. Cute posts about your 2 kids!

Mandy said...

Hope things keep getting better for you!

lisaplus5 said...

i am so glad to read this post sweet christie. i have been praying for you for some time. i am always here for you and praying even if we have never met. my last baby's middle name is Esther- you can read why on my blog under her dedication. it really means so much to me- the book of Esther. that has seen me through so difficult times. much love!