Friday, July 15, 2005

Pure exhaustion

We got home at about 11 pm from a day of driving and sad goodbyes. I don't have the energy or cognitive functioning to even write much. I just wanted to get some of this out into my journal.

My friend asked Bayleigh today what part of her Daddy being home was her favorite. You know what that little girl said??? Not eating candy or playing ball....but snuggling. Isn't that just the sweetest thing you have heard?

I think the worst part of today was watching Bayleigh's little heart breaking as she watched her Daddy walk towards the terminal in the airport. It made my tears come even faster. I wish that there was something I could do to ease the pain or help her feel better, but there isn't. I know that it tore Andy apart to watch her get so emotional. I can't imagine how hard it was for him to walk away....50 times harder than it was for us, I am sure.

Coming home was very eerie. I burst into tears as soon as I walked in...knowing that the last time we were home, we were all together. His clothes are still in the hamper and it will be hard to wash them. Even harder will be lying in the bed without him...smelling his presence on the pillow and sheets and reaching for empty space in the middle of the night.

I thought this goodbye would be easier since we are on the down side of the deployment. But, it wasn't. The pain was still real and the emotions still raw.

Off I go to take a bubble bath and snuggle my dumplin.

1 comment:

Lesley said...

I wish there was something I could do to make things easier. Love ya!!

(((hugs)))